On top of all of this, the tickle in the back of my throat that has become the fire-breathing monster I knew it would be. I swear, I could feel the exact moment that I went from "under the weather" to "HALP MAH" as I lay in bed: the tickle started to tingle, and then somehow my nose itched, and then my brain was fuzzy and warm (in a these-are-the-perfect-conditions-for-bacteria kind of way), and THEN it veered south and I swear I felt my ribcage rebel and decide to compress my heart. To balance out this dramatic change in events, I flopped onto my back in an attempt to give my heart a fighting chance, but that only made the tickle worse so now I was coughing, which OF COURSE made my eyes hurt in a way that can only be solved by thrusting your fingers between your eyes and ignoring how stupid you look.
On top of the on top stuff, "thoughts" keep invading my brain like I suspect the bacteria is. Apparently, "sleepy time" to my synapses means "Hi ho, hi ho! It's off to work we go!" and I'm left in the same irritated state that I would be if I were actually watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Absolutely nauseating.
Why won't my brain obey me and just turn off?! I've decided--I must construct some kind of brain fence to ward off the endless buzz of random words and pictures that poke at me endlessly. But how? Thoughts at night are so unappreciated; they seem insignificant and harmless, but really they have the potential to keep you awake for HOURS. They're like some kind of...idea infantry, attacking on all fronts and making you believe, "Hey! That's a good idea, I should write it down before I forget!" And before you know it, you've got the light on and a pen in your hand and suddenly there's no hope for a quiet, restful night.
How must Maleficent have felt when Prince Phillip stormed the castle? Here she was, just trying to even the score (because old grudges against royalty are always worth upholding), but not even revenge served sixteen years late could be fulfilled properly because here's this wilting flower peacefully sleeping, thanks to these stupid little fairies determined to take the edge off of everything she's ever wanted. So, she'll just have to live with the knowledge that her super awesome dark magic didn't quite do the trick this time, but here's this little tool Phillip who doesn't even know the girl he's in love with, he's just spied on her in the forest and danced with her against her will, but surely that's enough basis for a stable relationship, right? So why not go attack the giant dragon guarding the castle where this "one true love" sleeps and just trying to protect the last shred of her dignity? THAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. I bet that by the time she was in dragon form, Maleficent was all, "Eff this, I just want to go to sleep, too!" And then she was impaled by a magic sword.
Forecast for the rest of the night: cloudy with a chance of artificial lighting and resentment.
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